You, me and my stoma

You, me and my stoma

I had a one year anniversary with my boyfriend at the end of April. (Just as a heads up, I have asked his permission to write this <3 )

I was really honest about my condition from the beginning. I do not know if I would have been able to be so open if it was not for my social media presence related to ostomies / motivation to advocate. He was not bothered by it, and we had discussions about what went down and why I ended up with a stoma bag.

He has seen me change my bag, gone to the hospital with me once and tried a bag on himself. If you have an extra bag I think it is a good exercise to do, letting a spouse or a friend to figure out what it feels like to move around with a bag, maybe take a shower with it.

I know some people feel unlovable because of their bag and that is such a shame. Getting a bag often builds character and shows what truly matters in life. I would really value someone who has gone through something and now has their priorities straight, knows that there is more to life than just materialistic items or status. Going through surgery has taught me vulnerability and that is an important feature to have in relationships too.

So your bag does not have to define you, and it does not have to be a part of your relationship, because they are not dating your bag, they are dating the person who has walked through a rocky road and survived. That is something to be proud of. If someone does not get that and shames you for having a stoma, just know that they are not really worth your time and probably could not last a mile on the road you have walked.

Much love to you

Alisa, @stomazing on instagram, [email protected]