The funny side of life with a stoma

The funny side of ostomy life

We can have some amusing times with our stomas, we have to laugh at ourselves and try and see the funny side.

The first time my stoma ‘ farted” when not at home was somewhat embarrassing. I had just returned to work and was asked to go into a small room with about four others for some training. My stoma decided now was the time to make itself known. I grabbed for my stoma and tried to muffle the sound, one woman said that she was hungry too, phew, then I owned up to others when she left the room. I have had similar in a quiet theatre, a dentists chair and other places, very strange and amusing. I wonder if they know what it’s all about?

I also couldn’t be bothered to get up one morning so burped my bag in bed, the smell was awful and I couldn’t get back to sleep anyway, luckily for him my husband was already up and about.

There are times when I empty my bag that things don’t go quite according to plan, for example you place a square of toilet paper at the front of the toilet bowel ready to help with a quick flush and go but if there is a bit of air still in the bag and I squeeze too quickly, splat, splashback, poo all over the place. If it is the middle of the night, that gives a new dimension.

Putting your bag on only to realise that it is wonky as hell and facing the wrong way entirely, you have to start again.

Changing your bag can have it’s problems too, when you neatly place your seal around the stoma and are just about to place the bag, and your stoma decides now is the time to act like a volcano.

Checking your stoma is still there is another one ( ok checking if it’s full yet ), I am surprised there aren’t hand prints on all my clothes where my stoma is.

I don’t know many people who can go to work , cook, clean sleep and meet with friends ( pre covid of course) all whilst evacuating your bowels.