When will all this feel normal?

Hi everyone! I'm 30 days in from my ileostomy surgery and I'm really pleased with some of my progress: I can change my bag without feeling faint, I'm walking to the shops and I'm managing to talk about my stoma with my friends and joke about it. But, I don't feel normal. It takes so much time (bag changes, managing the high output, hydration, finding clothes that don't show the bag, eating the right things, chewing well - heck, I can't even sleep like I used to). How long did it take before you all felt like your life didn't revolve around your bag? And how do I learn to feel like me again? I think, for the first time, I feel a like I'm disabled. I don't feel young, or attractive, or carefree. How do I reclaim myself?
Parents
  •  Naomi, I have had Ileostomy since last July, I feel the same you do, life is no longer what it use to be, full night sleep is over for me, bag changes get easier, do it first thing in the morning for best results, I also have high output and have to go for infusions three times a week to keep hydrated. Naomi, you will always be an attractive women, I am older but also having a hard time connecting with women, but life goes on.

Reply
  •  Naomi, I have had Ileostomy since last July, I feel the same you do, life is no longer what it use to be, full night sleep is over for me, bag changes get easier, do it first thing in the morning for best results, I also have high output and have to go for infusions three times a week to keep hydrated. Naomi, you will always be an attractive women, I am older but also having a hard time connecting with women, but life goes on.

Children
  • Thanks Fred - I didn't realise beforehand what having an ileostomy meant. They said it wouldn't change my daily life but that seems very untrue. I hope it gets easier for both of us. Do you feel better for it?
  • Naomi, no I do not feel better for it, I had a procedure that you May research called BCIR out of ST. Pete Florida, had it done in 2005 and developed a fistula in 2018  had surgery but would not heal so I got the Ileostomy. The hard part for me although I am older than you is not being able to date and have that companionship, I am hoping to find an ostiomate so we have something in common and the same issues. it is life changing.

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