Hi Naomi, It will happen. I think you will one day look back and say that 2019 was not the best year you have had. But let me tell you, everything will get better. I think you need the year. You will get better at managing everything. You will learn what you can and can't eat. My advice on that is to be cautious and conservative with diet and when you reach the best outcome you can manage, then you can reintroduce things you like bit by bit. Your friends have already accepted you and they don't want you to apologise to them all the time for noises etc. Don't worry too much about other people. I have had a stoma for 10 years now and about the only place i am wary about is the theatre/cinema because everyone is so quiet. I won't try to comment on appearance. I think most men probably cope a bit better with not worrying about how they look than women do but for you, there is lots of advice out there. Good luck!!